Like a horror movie... but with worse plumbing.
If you're ever curious what it's like to survive a night in a post-apocalyptic motel, look no further! The lobby lures you in with false hope — it's clean, well-lit, and borderline respectable. But once you step into your room? Welcome to Nope-ville.
The toilet seat was hanging on for dear life, the water took so long to heat up laged a full decade waiting, and the shower pressure? Imagine being gently spit on by a dehydrated chipmunk.
There was mold thriving on the bathroom pipes like it paid rent. The shower curtain was absurdly long - like it moonlights as a red carpet - and somehow refused to stay shut. A fun combo of tripping and flooding! Bonus: I'm 98% sure I saw blood on the wall. Whose? I don't want to know.
Sleep? Not unless you enjoy the sound of doors being slammed every 45 seconds until 4 a.m. - it was like a community sport.
The one highlight? The bed. That thing was glorious. I don't know how it ended up in this motel - maybe it got lost on the way to a luxury suite — but it deserves better. Honestly, I wanted to apologize to it on my way out.
Stay here only if you love disappointment, mildew, and mystery stains. Otherwise, run.